No one chooses to become an addict or obsessive or compulsive, a co dependent ... but for every one of us who have fallen prey to this thing there was a point when we no longer make a choice about whether to act out or not. The psychological and physical dependency on the substance or behaviour overrides all logic.
No matter how much we love our families we will engage in behaviours that can destroy those relationships – we lie, steal, cheat and abuse ourselves and others and it is usually the ones we love because they are handy.
People who are co-dependent have lost all hope, all faith, all belief that they can survive without alcohol or other drugs or their own particular behaviour pattern that they learned in early to mid childhood. These substances and circumstances are not just stress relievers or crutches, they become life itself.
It’s no wonder that if someone tries to take that thing away they’ll fight for just like they are fighting for their life – because they are.
Co-dependents etc want the love and approval of their family and friends even if they act like they don’t need anyone. They tend to push people away, not because they don’t care about them, but because they feel shame and guilt and don’t want anyone else to see them as they see themselves.
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